Monday, October 17, 2011

Self Confidence
I've been having a rough couple of days over the last week. Actually, over the last few months. I had some great highs and some terrible lows.....  As a couple, we are going through such trials financially without a permanent job anywhere--it is so stressful.  I feel bad about myself --I'm sure Jim feels this way as well.  In between these lows, I have become more successful with my writing.  I had seven pieces published through Deseret Connect in print and online in Deseret News, and I was really excited about that. Then I was asked by More Good Foundation to write my own column which was unbelievably fantastic.  It is online officially as Bonds that Tie the Family.  All my children are doing well and we are pretty healthy (knock on wood) so there are many highs but the lows are so awful.  We don't have enough money for just the basic needs.  We keep scraping along trying to improve the situation.  Trying to write under those conditions is difficult too.  I guess we should be happy we are not on the street--homeless somewhere--which does happen to so many good people in this country.
  I just have to keep plugging along and break through this trial.  On top of that---my hotel plans just keep getting knocked down...... but every time I think---I can't do this-- something comes along and gives me some hope.  I dont' think it's false hope---but a hope that I can ask someone else for the financing or another person appears who wants to work on it.  If only we had the money to start--we would have that thing looking great in no time.

I suppose that is enough moaning about the difficulties of life...... I'm sure this would make a great tragedy/comedy movie somewhere down the road......  Speaking of roads: the picture shown is that road not taken.....somewhere in Pennsylvania there is this road that is traveled but I have not traveled it yet so I have to trudge through.  Or rather I should take a good look around while I am trudging through and enjoy the scenery.
One more thing......Lydia showed me this psychological test from Facebook----I don't know if it has any validity but you look at a large square of mixed up letters--as it's shown on a word find page--- and the directions say that the first three words you find in this square will describe you........ I found beautiful, love and funny......Am I beautiful? Never thought of myself that way.  I suppose Heavenly Father thinks so....  I know I love intensely and I like to be funny.  Maybe it does describes me which does help me to feel better about myself.

See For Yourself----


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