Courageous Parents: Teenagers are Fun

 

            Teenagers are fun.  That statement draws a lot of attention.  Some parents are afraid of their teenagers, while others enjoy the time their children are in their teens.  It takes courageous parents to guide their teenage children through the pit falls and bumps in their early life. Teenagers are hanging on the eve of adulthood and it’s their last ditch effort to fulfill what they consider being “themselves”.  Many have passions about what they do and it shows in their actions. Others pass through quietly and contribute thoughtfully. One thing for sure, there is a lot more activity with a house full of teenaged children than with a house full of two year olds. Reflection and words of wisdom can help parents understand their teenage children so life runs smoother and safer especially those families of Christian/Judean ethics. 

Here are a few:

Parents Can Lay the Foundation: Children between the ages of 13 and 19 keep homes very invigorated and parents young as during adolescent time great changes take place in body and mind.  Parents should pay particular attention to what their teens do instead of turning a deaf ear to their activity. Granted, a two-year old will try to please his parents and for the most part, they go along with clothing choices, most foods to eat and bed time rules. But a teen causes parents to think through religious beliefs, moral judgments and why we should eat nutritious food for lunch instead of potato chips and soda pop. Teens, who are grounded in righteous endeavors typically will be more successful in this difficult world. Words of wisdom could never be truer from David B. Haight, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, church leader for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) back in October of 1973.  He says: “Though the world is becoming more wicked, the youth of Christ’s church can become more righteous if they understand who they are, understand the blessings available, and understand the promises God has made to those who are righteous, who believe, who endure. All of our youth are entitled to and need this knowledge to combat the forces of deception that would lead them captive into darkness.”  (See: “You are Different”, David B. Haight, Ensign Magazine, November 1973. 3^rd paragraph)

Teens might think their parents are too strict with high morals but adolescent children know where they stand and that their parents’ care enough to enforce sensible values.

Teens Need Attention Too:   Some might consider teenagers very immature but there is a fine line to immaturity and just being fun.  A common characteristic of teenagers is the fact that many times, the whole world revolves around them and any negative situations they experience will go down in the history books as the worst occurrence of their lives.  (Even if they were the cause of it.)  Yes, they are the “drama queens and kings” of life, but their perspective is an interesting one. 

Granted some of our teens have had to endure some pretty awful experiences that did go down in the history books as the worst ever, for example, the Columbine High School shootings, but for the most part teens overreact in their quest for adulthood.  Parents need compassion and fairness in dealing with the life of their teen as well as attention to the details of their lives. They are not done with parenting a child after 13. This is where the courage to be a good parent comes in handy as we are entrusted to train our children to put their best foot forward.  From another LDS church leader, President David O. McKay who was quoted in Treasures of Life, (Deseret Book Company, 1965, p. 71.)

“What must the Lord think, then, of parents who, through their own negligence or willful desire to indulge their selfishness fail properly to rear their children, and thereby prove untrue to the greatest trust that has been given to human beings?” The teenage years can be some of the most difficult for a child and parents can be a great source of strength during those demanding times.

 Don’t Let Age Fool You:  Even though adolescents are old enough to take care of their physical needs, they are not always old enough to take care of their emotional needs.  Parents should be home when their teens are home.  Be there before school and after.  That gray area of life between childhood and adulthood takes a good listening ear and the foresight of a prophet.

 According to a Steinberg study in 1996 as related in an article “Depression and Suicide in Adolescents” by Cara Fausty, 1 in 3 adolescents has contemplated suicide and 1 in 6 adolescents have attempted suicide.  During the teenage years, there are such feelings of inadequacy and awkwardness that sometimes it’s hard to know how to handle in life.  Plus the fact that there are many external difficulties like parents divorcing or a separation of family, or a death of a loved one that it’s no wonder teens have a hard time coping.  From another church leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, President Ezra Taft Benson said at a conference in October of 1982, “The family is the most effective place to instill lasting values in its members. Where family life is strong and based on principles and practices of the gospel of Jesus Christ these problems do not as readily appear.”

Teens in their own right could be a great influence for doing good or a bad influence for getting into a lot of trouble.  With the help of parents, church youth leaders, teachers and friends, the life of a teen can be a positive experience for everyone involved as everyone should know: Teenagers are fun.

Seek for Things of a Better

 Every so often, while reading along in my scriptures, I find a verse that really talks to me.  This particular scripture comes from modern revelation (modern meaning post 1880 A.D.) 

 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) published a collection of revelations from God which were given to Joseph Smith between 1820 and 1846.  He is the first prophet of our modern dispensation and regarded these messages from God important for the early members of the Church to read and ponder. This book of revelations is called The Doctrine and Covenants and is divided into sections.

 

In section 25 of the Doctrine and Covenants, verse 10, we read these profound words “And verily I say until thee, that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world and seek for the things of a better.” This particular section was written for Emma Smith, Joseph’s wife but as a people of God we can benefit from this message as well.  The world is right in our faces telling us we need to make more money, buy more stuff, obtain more prestige, but would we really be happy if we attained all of this stuff and prestige?  I don’t think so. We don’t need to compete with the Jones across the street.  We don’t need to feel that we are better than others because of what we do or have.

 

There is always opposition pulling us down toward priorities which are less than favorable for a happy life.  Remembering the messages of those passengers on the planes and towers during the 9-11 tragedy, we learn that families and those we love are what truly is important. How we treat others in our day to day living is ultimately what makes us better. Kindness many times is pushed aside and our selfish “selves” moves ahead.

 

James Faust (LDS Church Leader) said it best: “A poor man can be selfish and a rich man generous, but a person obsessed only with getting will have a hard time finding peace in this life.” (Faust, James, “What’s in it for me?,” Ensign, October 2002)

 

The decisions we make each day have an effect on us as well. From a BYU fireside in November of 2005, President Thomas Monson, LDS Church President, gives us some words of wisdom:

“That evil one too has placed road signs to frustrate your progress and to lead you from the path of truth into detours of sin. His detours all lead to a dead end. Have you noticed his markers?

• Just this once won’t matter.

• It can’t hurt anyone but me.

• My love is mine to give; my life is mine to live.

• Times have changed.

 

Now we see what comes into focus: He who would lead us down waits patiently for a dark night, a wavering will, a confused conscience, a mixed-up mind. Are we prepared to make the decisions at the crossroads.

 

I can’t stress too strongly that decisions determine destiny. You can’t make eternal decisions without eternal consequences.” (See

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2005-11-05-decisions-determine-destiny?lang=eng)

A good example of this was shown to me as a teacher.  Recently, I had the chance to help in a classroom with students who were abused or chose not to behave. After a long line of suspensions and expelling from their base school, this classroom was their last chance at success. For the most part these teens came from dysfunctional families where their parents were either in jail or didn’t care about them. Both the teacher and the aid had to help them understand that they had to make good decisions to be successful. It was measured in fifteen minute increments as they were marked on their behavior in a report. This was teaching them in baby steps how each decision they make builds on the next one.

 

Regardless of what had happened to them in their life, they knew they had to be successful in those baby steps to improve their life and eventually work their way out of this classroom.  It was very structured and most of them didn’t like it. Those who were successful had to do their school work, treat others kindly and prove that they can handle responsibility. I tried to teach them that being kind to each other was important and if they wanted to be treated well, they had to treat others well too.  It was such a basic, easy concept for most anyone to understand but by the end of my time with them, some students just didn’t get it or they didn’t think it was worth the effort. It’s a sad commentary for those who have not been taught to be kind or decide to live a better life.

 

Let us follow the Lord’s counsel and seek for the things of a better world. Inspiring ourselves to live unselfishly can help us find peace. It might take a thousand tiny, daily decisions but in the end it will be worth it.  As we think of this accomplishment, we will be able to stand proudly at that last day knowing we followed the Lord, and weren’t distracted by the Adversary’s road signs of destruction n.

Live After the Manner of Happiness

 As I have read through The Book of Mormon, I came across a verse that caught my attention more than the usual pondering.  As encouraged by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) leaders, we try to read from the Book of Mormon every day. Actually, we are encouraged to read any scripture book any day whether it’s the Bible or Book of Mormon. This week I read 2^nd Nephi, chapter five verse twenty-seven which says: “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.”  Nephi of old who is the one to leave his wealthy home in Jerusalem, build a ship and travel to the new world, then deal with ruthless brothers who wanted to kill him, says that “they lived after the manner of  happiness."

What is living “after the manner of happiness”? At times we can become weary living in our day-to-day routine. Millions of people have passed through this earth and lived hundreds of hours doing what they were meant to do in their own life. But were they happy doing it? I don’t know. I do know that God wants us to be happy. He wants us to live after the manner of happiness.

Many of us carry heavy burdens which can spoil or take away our happiness. There are trials and tribulations just like what Nephi went through but he still managed to live after the manner of happiness. How can we live after the manner of happiness in our homes with our families?  Dieter F. Uchtdorf, LDS Church leader gives us an idea.

Elder Uchtdorf poses the question: “What do you suppose is the greatest happiness possible?”  He says “it’s the same as God’s happiness” and went on to explain when God creates, He is happy. (See: Uchtdorf, Dieter F., Happiness, Your Heritage, Ensign, November 2008)   

I can take those words and apply them in my life and know when I design something, work on homemade projects, author more writings to share or invent a meal my family loves, these acts create happiness even through troubled times.

 We can create our own happy world around us.  Our world tells us to indulge ourselves and look within ourselves for happiness but this never works. We are social beings and in helping others we create our own happiness. When our mood is sour, nothing helps to lighten our day more than doing a good deed for someone else.

Find what is positive in your own life.  See the good in others when there is so much negative and ponder goodness in quiet times. I love this quote by an unknown author which says “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything.”  So live after the manner of happiness as Nephi of old has counseled us to do. We can live through troubled times and still be positive and feel joy in life.

 

For The Strength of Everyone

 Hypocrisy! That’s what I call it, hypocrisy!  We teach our children from the “For The Strength of Youth” pamphlet (a set of standards to follow for our youth) but when we, as adults, become single ourselves many times we completely ignore what we teach our own children and do as we please. As adults we think we are above what we require of our children.  Some single adults think we don’t have to follow the same rules, but that is not true.         

      

Some single parents have taken a nose dive in moral integrity. Not that we should cast the first stone but as a parent we should set a good example for our children. Sometimes the temptation is just too much after having intimate relations with a spouse for so many years and they fall short of keeping the law of chastity.  Some let their guard down so as to let immorality into their lives even though they were worthy temple attendees when they were married.  (Being “temple worthy” means we follow a standard of the commandments of God) 

 Some single parents marry too soon after the loss of a spouse without some kind of spiritual confirmation because they were hurting so much; they wanted to fill a need.  Other single parents throw care to the wind and end up in compromising circumstances which they regret later.

It is difficult to be single after being married for so long. I have experienced this myself but we must be strong and stick to what the Lord has taught us about keeping ourselves worthy. It is the only way to have peace of mind and know the will of our Father in Heaven.   

 If you have never read the “For The Strength of Youth” pamphlet published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, find one and read it. Not only read it but learn to follow it. It’s a great standard for life.

Click here for Link

The following is a review of what is most important in a single adult’s life from The Strength of Youth pamphlet. It’s kind of like “For the Strength of Single Adults.”

 

Agency and Accountability:

One of the first things our children learn from their church leaders is that they are accountable for their actions.  They have their agency but the choices they make are their own.  As the youth of this the LDS Church are accountable and have free agency, so are we as single adults. We are free to choose for ourselves but also know that we are accountable for our choices. This might seem like a simple a concept for our “old” adult minds but you would be surprised how many adults forget about this great principal of the gospel when they become single.

 

Gratitude:                                                                                                                        Nothing says ungrateful more than when someone who lives a gospel oriented life, doesn’t appreciate it.  As Americans, it is so easy to get sucked into thinking that we are miserable if we don’t have all the material possessions our neighbors and friends have. We compare ourselves with other people who seem to be in a “better” situation but when we can see for ourselves how blessed we are in the life we are living, we are happier and can be at peace.   

 

Dress and Appearance:

Just like it says in the Strength of Youth Pamphlet, our body is God’s sacred creation. We must remember we are under the same obligation as the youth to dress appropriately; even more so if we have gone through the temple. (Members with temple garments) We know what we have learned in the temple. When we get to the point that we want to attract a potential mate with the way we dress, (tight fitting clothes, low necklines and high skirts) we are making a big mistake. We are adults and must remember the appropriate dress for a covenant people.  Our bodies are temples unto the Lord and we should treat them as such; no pulling up garments to wear a shorter dress, no tucking in sleeves to wear a sleeveless blouse.  We have to dress as we have covenanted, and immodest clothing is not it.

 

Entertainment and the Media:

This is a delicate topic among adults.  We think if we are over 18, we can watch any “R” rated movie, read any book or magazine or look at any website on the internet without repercussions.  We think we don’t have anyone to answer to, but we do.  We have our temple recommends to think about.  If we have children at home with us, we have to set the example for them.  If they shouldn’t be watching “R” rated stuff, then we shouldn’t be watching it either.  Some of the “PG-13” stuff is almost as bad as we know how the rest of the world will push the envelope on what is included in “R” and “PG-13” rated entertainment.  Putting garbage into our heads is still garbage no matter what the rating.  We need to choose wisely what we watch.  Is it really the end of the world if we don’t watch something everybody else was watching?  Is it that terrible a thing to skip a big hit with great reviews when you know inappropriate material is being shown on the screen?  It’s all what you consider important in life.  We all have to make that decision, but life is a lot less complicated when we make the decision to do without and find other sources of entertainment more appropriate for the Lord’s people.     

Sexual Purity:

This particular topic is the most sensitive and probably the hardest task to accomplish after being married.  Let us remember what the Lord has said about keeping yourself chaste: “The Lord delights in the chastity of women.  And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus said the Lord of Hosts”. Jacob 2:28

The Lord wants us to remember that which is most precious to women.  We have physical wants, especially after we are left alone from divorce or death of a spouse, but we must remember what the Lord expects of us and not our physical desires.

Repentance:

Placing the subject of repentance right after sexual purity was done on purpose.  We can repent of any sins we commit and become clean. The Savior suffered for us to become clean.  We can come back a member in good standing after we are forgiven. It has happened many times to many members, single or not.   We can have the comfort of knowing we are a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints if we humble ourselves and talk to our priesthood leaders.  We might have to forge ahead as we try to make our way back, but we must do it.  I have known several single adult members who lost their membership and did not have the support of their priesthood leaders because of their situation.  They fell through the cracks or some misunderstanding caused them to be on their own.  Eventually they somehow found the strength to make it back to the fold.  You should never feel that the road back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ is unattainable.  There are many people who can help you. There is no time you should ever feel that Heavenly Father does not want you to return to church.  Take the time to sit in Sacrament meeting and feel the Spirit and know that God loves you.  Work towards your membership and full blessings of the temple and you will feel so much joy in your life.

These are great words of wisdom in such a time as this. Reading through the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet can really help the youth of the church and their single parents. The message is clear for everyone: set the example for your children and take the high road.  Live a righteous life for your own sake.  Keep your life clean as Heavenly Father would want you to do. This will strengthen your own family and your spirit will be much happier.

Uplifting Movies Strengthen Families

 Real family entertainment is difficult to come by at times.  As a parent, we check to make sure whatever we watch, read or listen to is tame enough for our children. Raw language, over dramatized violence, and inappropriate relationships seem to be the norm in our culture. Sometimes, it’s even snuck into children’s full length feature cartoons. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we pay particular attention to the rating, language content, and violence of movies as we have been admonished by our church leaders.

 How can we tell for ourselves and then guide our children on which movies are appropriate to watch as well as interesting AND show the correct example of moral principles? The movie making business unfortunately, for the most part, is not family friendly.

 Back in March 31, 1930, the Motion Picture Association of America approved what was called, "The Production Code". This code had three general principles.

           

 1. No picture shall be produced which will lower the moral standards of those who see it.

 2. Correct standards of life, subject only to the requirements of drama and entertainment, shall be presented.

 3. Law--divine, natural or human--shall not be ridiculed, nor shall sympathy be created for its violation.

 What a far cry that is to the kind of movies we have today. This type of entertainment has taken its toll on our attitudes in life. Did the movie “Pearl Harbor” truly portrays what happened in history or did it change the story a bit to smooth over relationships with other countries?   What about the movie “Titanic”?  How are we to feel compassion for Rose’s situation, when she runs away from her family and has sex with a guy she just met a few days before?  The historical recreations are changing what we normally visualize as evil for good and it is having a noticeable effect on our children.

In an NBC "In Depth" news report by Mike Belcher on October 19, 1995, teenagers of different backgrounds and lifestyles were questioned about what they watched at the theater.  To these adolescents, "violence was perceived as normal" and it was common to see "women in sexual situations".

Is this what the American public see in their everyday life?  I would say not.  But through the movies being produced today, we are reinforcing our own stereotypes.  We know that in our day-to-day life, most people never see the kind of violence that is shown in the films we watch at the theater.  Yet these violent, sex-ridden movies are popular and are supposedly reflect the kind of life we have in this country. 

In a speech delivered on May 5, 1995 to the University of Toronto, Canada, Michael Medved said, "We hear the cries of Hollywood, who say 'we are just reflecting reality, don't blame us'".  But as Mr. Medved points out "if the rate of murder from TV and movies were applied in reality, then in just 50 days, everyone in the United States would be killed."

 This is the kind of entertainment our youth are watching. Not only watching but playing games as well.    This is not reality but what other people want to characterize as good entertainment.  What kind of future will we have with this reinforcement of a false reality?

A report from U.S. News and World Report, September 11, 1995 said "a psychologist, Leonard Eron of the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, has tracked 650 New York children from 1960 to the present, looking at viewing habits and behavior.  Those who watched the most violent television as youngsters grew up to engage in the most aggressive behavior as adults, from spouse abuse to drunk driving."

 Thinking of the most popular films of the day, the future looks pretty bleak.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  We can choose to watch family oriented movies that are entertaining too.  In fact according to what Michael Medved said in his speech, "the G and PG rated movies have done better on average than the R-rated movies by a ratio of more than two to one."  This was before the PG-13 rating came out.  As parents, it is up to us to keep tabs on the movies our children watch.  An “R” rated movie should be a warning sign for inappropriate watching material.

 At times we seem to swing back and forth in our praising of Hollywood from good family entertainment like the movie Wicked, Zootopia or Sarah's Oil to the violence of  Mad Max Saga, Deadpool or Wolverine? Somehow we have to get the message across to those making films that families want good movies with descent moral values and no gratuitous violence.  Let the good be portrayed as good and the evil be evil.  Uplifting movies will strengthen families in a positive way.  Our future depends on it. 

Becoming Spiritually Self-Reliant

 Spiritual self-reliance is indeed a vital aspect of overall self-reliance, often overlooked in discussions about preparedness. Your point about making choices aligning with positive outcomes is especially poignant. It reflects the idea that our spiritual strength is cultivated through our actions and decisions, particularly when they align with principles of goodness and righteousness. 

Benjamin Franklin's quote underscores the importance of choosing values that guide our lives towards positive outcomes, which in turn strengthens our spiritual resilience. Obedience to higher laws and making wise choices can certainly fortify our spirits.

With all the talk of emergency preparedness, we sometimes forget about another aspect of self-reliance: spiritual self-reliance.  Are we spiritually strong enough to withstand the wiles of the world?  Are we spiritually self-reliant?

 First we have to choose between good and evil. When we consistently make good choices with positive outcomes, we strengthen our spiritual self-reliance. Benjamin Franklin had this to say about making choices: “We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices. We choose the thoughts we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel, and the actions we allow ourselves to perform. Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we’ve selected to govern our lives. In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make.” If we are obedient to God’s laws and choose wisely, our spirit is strengthened.

 Next, we have to nurture the goodness we have within us. Study scriptures, pray for guidance and for the good of others, as well as pondering the good words we read are all positive actions we can take over the course of the day and weeks in nurturing our goodness.

Lastly, be on the lookout for open messages from God.  That little voice or feeling which tells us to do something good keeps us on the right path. We should follow the impressions we get and the more we follow, the more positive experiences we will have and the stronger our spiritual self-reliance.

 One of the best talks I’ve ever heard was from a General Conference last October (2014) when Jörg Klegengat, church leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, talked about approaching God with confidence. This is a no nonsense guide to spiritual self-reliance.

He says:

 “1. Take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. Stop blaming others or your circumstances, stop justifying, and stop making excuses for why you may not be fully striving to be obedient.

2. Take responsibility for your own physical well-being. Your soul consists of your body and spirit. Feeding the spirit while neglecting the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered self-esteem.

3. Embrace voluntary, wholehearted obedience as part of your life. Acknowledge that you cannot love God without also loving His commandments. The Savior’s standard is clear and simple: ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments’. (John 14:15) Selective obedience brings selective blessings, and choosing something bad over something worse is still choosing wrong.

4. Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly. Because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very practical, you should apply it generously 24/7, for it never runs out. Embrace the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance as things that are to be welcomed and applied daily according to the Great Physician’s orders.

5. Become really, really good at forgiving. Forgive everyone, everything, all the time, or at least strive to do so, thus allowing forgiveness your own life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t be easily offended, forgive and forget quickly, and don’t ever think that you are exempt from this commandment. Spiritual confidence increases when you know that the Lord knows that you bear no ill feelings toward another soul.

6. Accept trials, setbacks, and surprises as part of your mortal experience. Remember that you are here to be proved and tested.” (See: Klegengat, Jöge, “Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence,” Ensign, November 2014 pgs. 34-36.)

Using these wise words from Jörg Klegengat helps us to realize how we are affected in many areas of life through spiritual self-reliance. One of the ways we can gauge our spiritual self-reliance is in how we can serve others without expecting anything in return.  I know of a friend who gives of himself when others see disasters.  Michael has gone overseas in times of disaster in Japan, Haiti and now Nepal using his own money and the funds he collects from a non-profit organization he started to help others in natural disasters.  It is amazing what he has accomplished and he serves his fellow man without expecting anything back in return.

Using these effective tools, we can all become spiritually self-reliant and guard ourselves from any opposition which comes our way. We won’t always have family or close friends to rely on to keep us on the straight and narrow but with God’s help and our own spiritual strength we can stand for truth and righteousness and be spiritually self-reliant.

The Blessings of Family

 You've captured the essence of parenthood beautifully. It's indeed a profound responsibility that requires selflessness and integrity. Each child deserves a loving and supportive environment, and it's crucial for parents to reflect on their readiness to provide that before deciding to have children. It's a journey that brings immense joy and fulfillment, but also challenges that test one's patience and resilience. Your perspective on the importance and value of parenthood is insightful.

Deciding to bring children into the world takes great thought and sometimes soul-searching reflection. A married couple raising another human being requires unselfish acts and integrity.  Unselfishness for sacrificing what an adult would rather do for the time to be a parent to their children and integrity for maintaining the correct choices in parenting a child.

Not everyone is willing to be a parent, so prayerfully consider whether to add a child into a home. This decision rests only on a couple’s shoulders.  The truth about raising children is that it’s a great responsibility but it is also the most important job we can ever have. It’s not easy but it is well worth the time. 

From The Family: A Proclamation to the World from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: “’Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (from Psalms 127:3) Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”

Parents who teach correct principles and live to serve their fellow man bring a peace and happiness to themselves and others. Yet, many people watch the activity of a family from a fishbowl point of view judging too harshly at how parents raise their children.  Ultimately, decisions on how to handle difficult situations and consequences for children’s decisions are the choice of the parent. Some people might even judge the wisdom of having as many children as a couple can have. Yet again. this is the decision of the couple.

For example: Both my husband and I were introduced to the lifestyle of homeschooling when we had three of our nine children attending public school but we disagreed on whether we should adopt this program into our family. Through a series of inspired dreams, I realized we should homeschool, but my husband disagreed.  He just didn’t think we could give our children the kind of education the public school offered so we continued to send our children to school.  It wasn’t until our school district became divided over a year-round school schedule that he changed his mind. The first year of the new yearly public-school program was a disaster with overcrowded classrooms and holes in our children’s education shown in tests. We both agreed we should pull  our children our out and school them ourselves. 

Some parents we knew were surprised we took such drastic action and criticized what we did but we knew this was right for us. We have never regretted our decision.

The same situation came when we decided that we should have nine children. We accepted them into our home with open arms. I can testify to anyone who has asked me if I have ever regretted raising nine children and the answer would have to be a big no. Yes, there were stressful situations and little money to go around at times. Yes, the older siblings would take care of the younger ones when we felt burned out. Yes, our time is stretched to the limit but as parents we learned to deal with all of our children along with the challenges and joys. All of them learned to be better people and those of them who are parents are better parents. The blessings of bringing children into a home are countless. 

 

1. We all become very unselfish. What we bring away from our earthly experience is character development and knowledge. We learn to have patience and share with those around us who don’t have as much. We learn that human relationships are important enough to share with others.

2. We realize how unimportant material possessions are and find personal relationships more fulfilling. What is really important are people. Spending time with those we love is much better than spending money on things that eventually will not exist. Material possessions are inanimate objects. People have feelings and concerns and can love another person.

3. We learn to manage our time better so we can spend more of it with each other. This is a never-ending process and parents learn quickly that time spent with children is more important than doing other less important activities. The rewards for a good relationship with a child far outweigh the time spent in doing other things.

4. We learn to sacrifice for each other which help us grow closer together. Sacrifice is a difficult virtue to learn.  Humans are naturally selfish and want what is best for themselves but life has no meaning if we think only about ourselves. There is a time for everything and it might seem that we will never get what we want for ourselves but as children grow and learn by the good example of their parents, the blessing of sacrifice is passed down to the next generation.

It was Jeffrey Holland (LDS Church leader) who said: “I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that heavenly promises are always kept.” (Holland, Jeffrey R., “Lessons Learned from Liberty Jail” Ensign, September 2009.

 Life is lived in the best way we know how, with all of its challenges and all of its happiness. We are blessed for sacrificing for another human being. It’s just a matter of whether we realize this in time to make a difference in our own lives.

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Synagogue...

 It's May 1st and my next book is ready to buy!!

About 15 years ago I had this great idea to write a book about Jews and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. More than just my conversion, its a comparison of both cultures.  I started writing and got about 1/3 of the way through and realized it wasn't the right time to write this book.

I went on to other projects and wrote down ideas so when the time did come along, I would be ready.

Then in June of 2025, experiences started falling into place and after the Book of Mormon Conference, I knew it was time.

I booked a trip to Israel with my brother and got writing to finish my book.  The last chapter covers our trip to Israel in February and I was done!

Now I am ready to promote and I have already had great reviews!!

Here is the description:

"A witty and heartfelt exploration of two worlds, Judaism and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Mrs. Steimle explores tradition, woven together through one person’s spiritual journey, blending humor, history, and personal reflection. This narrative follows an unexpected pilgrimage from matzah balls to Moroni, and from synagogue pews to the Sacred Grove, showing how two faiths that seem far apart can echo each other in surprising ways.

Click here to buy my book

If you feel so inclined, please leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads 

Finding Hozho: Forgiveness is Important

Every so often there comes a movie that just touches your heart like no other.  Tonight I watched such a movie.

Since I work with Native American Fatherhood and Families Association (NAFFA), I have the privilege to meet many wonderful Native Americans. I have learned an incredible amount of their lifestyle, culture, music and dance.   It is an amazing culture.

Tonight was the  premier of the movie Finding Hozho. I have known about the coming of this movie for a few months as  NAFFA has been friends with Travis Holton Hamilton (producer, writer, director) for over 5 years.  He spent his time in the LDS mission field with the Navajos and learned to love those people. Travis has been creating stories and producing movies since 2007. This latest creation opened tonight in Tempe, Arizona.

The story was inspiring and the acting was on point.  It was such a wonderful experience to watch. An example of how a movie should run.

The story leads the audience to understand how an abused child from his father learns to forgive him as an adult. The music, the sets, the dialog.  So wonderful. Everyone should watch this movie.

The icing on the cake was the main character played by Frankie Gilmore was in Vietnam about the same time and military cavalry that my husband, Tom was.  They had a lot to talk about after the movie was over. What a wonderful evening.  

                  Frankie and Tom

                                                    

Click here to find theater

Abortion: Secret Murder of the Innocent

 

In the bustling heart of the city, where the rhythms of life pulse through its streets, a small group gathers every Saturday morning in front of an abortion clinic. Their mission is profound yet simple: to offer hope and support to those facing a critical choice. Armed not with judgment but with compassion, they stand outside concerned for the babies who don’t get the chance at life and to touch the hearts of those inside the clinic ready to end this life. 

Their thoughts turn to reconsideration. A chance to help a pregnant woman know the possibilities. This is her real choice. Not what the world tells her but the facts to understand how she can save a life and her own.

When the decision to abort is made, the stark reality of its impact is undeniable. Statistics paint a grim picture, revealing the profound loss of life and potential. Each year, millions of pregnancies end in abortion worldwide, with approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies in the United States alone ending in abortion. These numbers represent not just statistics, but individual lives—babies who will never laugh, never play, never have the chance to fulfill their potential. Behind each number is a story cut short, a future that will never be. The weight of these statistics underscores the urgency of the mission to save babies from abortion, to offer alternatives, support, and hope to those facing this difficult decision.

The question needs to be asked; How can we stop the madness of killing our own children? 

Enter Amberli Peterson. Author of Ripened: Why The Book of Mormon Dams America for Abortion.  Amberli Peterson has sounded the call!  We can learn the importance of encouraging women to let their babies live. When we read the headlines:  ABORTION HURTS WOMEN: 1 IN 25 WOMEN WHO TAKE THE ABORTION PILL WILL WIND UP IN THE ER, or ABORTIONS RISE UNEXPECTEDLY FOLLOWING THE OVERTURNING OF ROE VS WADE, we must learn to  stop the madness.

In her book, Mrs. Peterson answers the questions of how The Book of Mormon can show the downfall of our beautiful United States of America. The Book of Mormon, an important book to the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, talks of secret murders. These secret murders which according to Mrs. Peterson has been described not only as those who  murder others in secret places and at secret times but also shows abortion as a secret murder itself.

Think about it. Abortions are done in secret to someone who can never tell another soul that they were lost. Not only is the act secret itself but it is done in a secret place: the womb. I can only scratch the surface in a few sentences here of what “Ripened” explains to the rest of the world and how we should teach the sacredness of life but also this book might give those babies a chance at life.

 "Ripened" is thorough in explaining the journey to answer the question "Why the Book of Mormon Damns American for Abortion". It is well written explaining the topic we all need to understand: abortion and changing the hearts of the many women who take the life of their own babies.  It will motivate all of us to help our communities to lovingly spread the message of life.

Is there hope to save these precious children from death? Yes, there is!

Enter Preborn!!  PreBorn.com is an organization founded by Dan Steiner who asked himself  in 2008 how can we save the 800,000 babies being slaughtered each week at the hands of abortionists. Seventeen years later, Preborn is saving lives.  The assistance is never forced on a women to give birth, only a chance to see an ultrasound of their baby and decide on their own whether to keep their child.

Last year there were 67,556 babies saved and 77,092 abortion minded-women served alone just in donations and the service of those certified in maternity care. Donations for ultrasound  machines continue to rise to the cause. Funding goes directly to the clinics for those trained to help all who are pregnant make a thoughtful CHOICE of whether they want to keep their child or not.  No one is ever forced not to have an abortion but given the opportunity if they want to save their baby with two years of counseling, infant supplies and hope for a better future if they do choose to give birth.

I love PreBorn and donate to it regularly. Their message of love and compassion is needed in our world of the “get rid of it” mentality. For more information to help other women please see: https://preborn.com/  You can make a positive impact in a woman's life.