For The Strength of Everyone

 Hypocrisy! That’s what I call it, hypocrisy!  We teach our children from the “For The Strength of Youth” pamphlet (a set of standards to follow for our youth) but when we, as adults, become single ourselves many times we completely ignore what we teach our own children and do as we please. As adults we think we are above what we require of our children.  Some single adults think we don’t have to follow the same rules, but that is not true.         

      

Some single parents have taken a nose dive in moral integrity. Not that we should cast the first stone but as a parent we should set a good example for our children. Sometimes the temptation is just too much after having intimate relations with a spouse for so many years and they fall short of keeping the law of chastity.  Some let their guard down so as to let immorality into their lives even though they were worthy temple attendees when they were married.  (Being “temple worthy” means we follow a standard of the commandments of God) 

 Some single parents marry too soon after the loss of a spouse without some kind of spiritual confirmation because they were hurting so much; they wanted to fill a need.  Other single parents throw care to the wind and end up in compromising circumstances which they regret later.

It is difficult to be single after being married for so long. I have experienced this myself but we must be strong and stick to what the Lord has taught us about keeping ourselves worthy. It is the only way to have peace of mind and know the will of our Father in Heaven.   

 If you have never read the “For The Strength of Youth” pamphlet published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, find one and read it. Not only read it but learn to follow it. It’s a great standard for life.

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The following is a review of what is most important in a single adult’s life from The Strength of Youth pamphlet. It’s kind of like “For the Strength of Single Adults.”

 

Agency and Accountability:

One of the first things our children learn from their church leaders is that they are accountable for their actions.  They have their agency but the choices they make are their own.  As the youth of this the LDS Church are accountable and have free agency, so are we as single adults. We are free to choose for ourselves but also know that we are accountable for our choices. This might seem like a simple a concept for our “old” adult minds but you would be surprised how many adults forget about this great principal of the gospel when they become single.

 

Gratitude:                                                                                                                        Nothing says ungrateful more than when someone who lives a gospel oriented life, doesn’t appreciate it.  As Americans, it is so easy to get sucked into thinking that we are miserable if we don’t have all the material possessions our neighbors and friends have. We compare ourselves with other people who seem to be in a “better” situation but when we can see for ourselves how blessed we are in the life we are living, we are happier and can be at peace.   

 

Dress and Appearance:

Just like it says in the Strength of Youth Pamphlet, our body is God’s sacred creation. We must remember we are under the same obligation as the youth to dress appropriately; even more so if we have gone through the temple. (Members with temple garments) We know what we have learned in the temple. When we get to the point that we want to attract a potential mate with the way we dress, (tight fitting clothes, low necklines and high skirts) we are making a big mistake. We are adults and must remember the appropriate dress for a covenant people.  Our bodies are temples unto the Lord and we should treat them as such; no pulling up garments to wear a shorter dress, no tucking in sleeves to wear a sleeveless blouse.  We have to dress as we have covenanted, and immodest clothing is not it.

 

Entertainment and the Media:

This is a delicate topic among adults.  We think if we are over 18, we can watch any “R” rated movie, read any book or magazine or look at any website on the internet without repercussions.  We think we don’t have anyone to answer to, but we do.  We have our temple recommends to think about.  If we have children at home with us, we have to set the example for them.  If they shouldn’t be watching “R” rated stuff, then we shouldn’t be watching it either.  Some of the “PG-13” stuff is almost as bad as we know how the rest of the world will push the envelope on what is included in “R” and “PG-13” rated entertainment.  Putting garbage into our heads is still garbage no matter what the rating.  We need to choose wisely what we watch.  Is it really the end of the world if we don’t watch something everybody else was watching?  Is it that terrible a thing to skip a big hit with great reviews when you know inappropriate material is being shown on the screen?  It’s all what you consider important in life.  We all have to make that decision, but life is a lot less complicated when we make the decision to do without and find other sources of entertainment more appropriate for the Lord’s people.     

Sexual Purity:

This particular topic is the most sensitive and probably the hardest task to accomplish after being married.  Let us remember what the Lord has said about keeping yourself chaste: “The Lord delights in the chastity of women.  And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus said the Lord of Hosts”. Jacob 2:28

The Lord wants us to remember that which is most precious to women.  We have physical wants, especially after we are left alone from divorce or death of a spouse, but we must remember what the Lord expects of us and not our physical desires.

Repentance:

Placing the subject of repentance right after sexual purity was done on purpose.  We can repent of any sins we commit and become clean. The Savior suffered for us to become clean.  We can come back a member in good standing after we are forgiven. It has happened many times to many members, single or not.   We can have the comfort of knowing we are a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints if we humble ourselves and talk to our priesthood leaders.  We might have to forge ahead as we try to make our way back, but we must do it.  I have known several single adult members who lost their membership and did not have the support of their priesthood leaders because of their situation.  They fell through the cracks or some misunderstanding caused them to be on their own.  Eventually they somehow found the strength to make it back to the fold.  You should never feel that the road back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ is unattainable.  There are many people who can help you. There is no time you should ever feel that Heavenly Father does not want you to return to church.  Take the time to sit in Sacrament meeting and feel the Spirit and know that God loves you.  Work towards your membership and full blessings of the temple and you will feel so much joy in your life.

These are great words of wisdom in such a time as this. Reading through the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet can really help the youth of the church and their single parents. The message is clear for everyone: set the example for your children and take the high road.  Live a righteous life for your own sake.  Keep your life clean as Heavenly Father would want you to do. This will strengthen your own family and your spirit will be much happier.

Uplifting Movies Strengthen Families

 Real family entertainment is difficult to come by at times.  As a parent, we check to make sure whatever we watch, read or listen to is tame enough for our children. Raw language, over dramatized violence, and inappropriate relationships seem to be the norm in our culture. Sometimes, it’s even snuck into children’s full length feature cartoons. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we pay particular attention to the rating, language content, and violence of movies as we have been admonished by our church leaders.

 How can we tell for ourselves and then guide our children on which movies are appropriate to watch as well as interesting AND show the correct example of moral principles? The movie making business unfortunately, for the most part, is not family friendly.

 Back in March 31, 1930, the Motion Picture Association of America approved what was called, "The Production Code". This code had three general principles.

           

 1. No picture shall be produced which will lower the moral standards of those who see it.

 2. Correct standards of life, subject only to the requirements of drama and entertainment, shall be presented.

 3. Law--divine, natural or human--shall not be ridiculed, nor shall sympathy be created for its violation.

 What a far cry that is to the kind of movies we have today. This type of entertainment has taken its toll on our attitudes in life. Did the movie “Pearl Harbor” truly portrays what happened in history or did it change the story a bit to smooth over relationships with other countries?   What about the movie “Titanic”?  How are we to feel compassion for Rose’s situation, when she runs away from her family and has sex with a guy she just met a few days before?  The historical recreations are changing what we normally visualize as evil for good and it is having a noticeable effect on our children.

In an NBC "In Depth" news report by Mike Belcher on October 19, 1995, teenagers of different backgrounds and lifestyles were questioned about what they watched at the theater.  To these adolescents, "violence was perceived as normal" and it was common to see "women in sexual situations".

Is this what the American public see in their everyday life?  I would say not.  But through the movies being produced today, we are reinforcing our own stereotypes.  We know that in our day-to-day life, most people never see the kind of violence that is shown in the films we watch at the theater.  Yet these violent, sex-ridden movies are popular and are supposedly reflect the kind of life we have in this country. 

In a speech delivered on May 5, 1995 to the University of Toronto, Canada, Michael Medved said, "We hear the cries of Hollywood, who say 'we are just reflecting reality, don't blame us'".  But as Mr. Medved points out "if the rate of murder from TV and movies were applied in reality, then in just 50 days, everyone in the United States would be killed."

 This is the kind of entertainment our youth are watching. Not only watching but playing games as well.    This is not reality but what other people want to characterize as good entertainment.  What kind of future will we have with this reinforcement of a false reality?

A report from U.S. News and World Report, September 11, 1995 said "a psychologist, Leonard Eron of the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, has tracked 650 New York children from 1960 to the present, looking at viewing habits and behavior.  Those who watched the most violent television as youngsters grew up to engage in the most aggressive behavior as adults, from spouse abuse to drunk driving."

 Thinking of the most popular films of the day, the future looks pretty bleak.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  We can choose to watch family oriented movies that are entertaining too.  In fact according to what Michael Medved said in his speech, "the G and PG rated movies have done better on average than the R-rated movies by a ratio of more than two to one."  This was before the PG-13 rating came out.  As parents, it is up to us to keep tabs on the movies our children watch.  An “R” rated movie should be a warning sign for inappropriate watching material.

 At times we seem to swing back and forth in our praising of Hollywood from good family entertainment like the movie Wicked, Zootopia or Sarah's Oil to the violence of  Mad Max Saga, Deadpool or Wolverine? Somehow we have to get the message across to those making films that families want good movies with descent moral values and no gratuitous violence.  Let the good be portrayed as good and the evil be evil.  Uplifting movies will strengthen families in a positive way.  Our future depends on it. 

Becoming Spiritually Self-Reliant

 Spiritual self-reliance is indeed a vital aspect of overall self-reliance, often overlooked in discussions about preparedness. Your point about making choices aligning with positive outcomes is especially poignant. It reflects the idea that our spiritual strength is cultivated through our actions and decisions, particularly when they align with principles of goodness and righteousness. 

Benjamin Franklin's quote underscores the importance of choosing values that guide our lives towards positive outcomes, which in turn strengthens our spiritual resilience. Obedience to higher laws and making wise choices can certainly fortify our spirits.

With all the talk of emergency preparedness, we sometimes forget about another aspect of self-reliance: spiritual self-reliance.  Are we spiritually strong enough to withstand the wiles of the world?  Are we spiritually self-reliant?

 First we have to choose between good and evil. When we consistently make good choices with positive outcomes, we strengthen our spiritual self-reliance. Benjamin Franklin had this to say about making choices: “We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices. We choose the thoughts we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel, and the actions we allow ourselves to perform. Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we’ve selected to govern our lives. In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make.” If we are obedient to God’s laws and choose wisely, our spirit is strengthened.

 Next, we have to nurture the goodness we have within us. Study scriptures, pray for guidance and for the good of others, as well as pondering the good words we read are all positive actions we can take over the course of the day and weeks in nurturing our goodness.

Lastly, be on the lookout for open messages from God.  That little voice or feeling which tells us to do something good keeps us on the right path. We should follow the impressions we get and the more we follow, the more positive experiences we will have and the stronger our spiritual self-reliance.

 One of the best talks I’ve ever heard was from a General Conference last October (2014) when Jörg Klegengat, church leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, talked about approaching God with confidence. This is a no nonsense guide to spiritual self-reliance.

He says:

 “1. Take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. Stop blaming others or your circumstances, stop justifying, and stop making excuses for why you may not be fully striving to be obedient.

2. Take responsibility for your own physical well-being. Your soul consists of your body and spirit. Feeding the spirit while neglecting the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered self-esteem.

3. Embrace voluntary, wholehearted obedience as part of your life. Acknowledge that you cannot love God without also loving His commandments. The Savior’s standard is clear and simple: ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments’. (John 14:15) Selective obedience brings selective blessings, and choosing something bad over something worse is still choosing wrong.

4. Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly. Because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very practical, you should apply it generously 24/7, for it never runs out. Embrace the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance as things that are to be welcomed and applied daily according to the Great Physician’s orders.

5. Become really, really good at forgiving. Forgive everyone, everything, all the time, or at least strive to do so, thus allowing forgiveness your own life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t be easily offended, forgive and forget quickly, and don’t ever think that you are exempt from this commandment. Spiritual confidence increases when you know that the Lord knows that you bear no ill feelings toward another soul.

6. Accept trials, setbacks, and surprises as part of your mortal experience. Remember that you are here to be proved and tested.” (See: Klegengat, Jöge, “Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence,” Ensign, November 2014 pgs. 34-36.)

Using these wise words from Jörg Klegengat helps us to realize how we are affected in many areas of life through spiritual self-reliance. One of the ways we can gauge our spiritual self-reliance is in how we can serve others without expecting anything in return.  I know of a friend who gives of himself when others see disasters.  Michael has gone overseas in times of disaster in Japan, Haiti and now Nepal using his own money and the funds he collects from a non-profit organization he started to help others in natural disasters.  It is amazing what he has accomplished and he serves his fellow man without expecting anything back in return.

Using these effective tools, we can all become spiritually self-reliant and guard ourselves from any opposition which comes our way. We won’t always have family or close friends to rely on to keep us on the straight and narrow but with God’s help and our own spiritual strength we can stand for truth and righteousness and be spiritually self-reliant.

The Blessings of Family

 You've captured the essence of parenthood beautifully. It's indeed a profound responsibility that requires selflessness and integrity. Each child deserves a loving and supportive environment, and it's crucial for parents to reflect on their readiness to provide that before deciding to have children. It's a journey that brings immense joy and fulfillment, but also challenges that test one's patience and resilience. Your perspective on the importance and value of parenthood is insightful.

Deciding to bring children into the world takes great thought and sometimes soul-searching reflection. A married couple raising another human being requires unselfish acts and integrity.  Unselfishness for sacrificing what an adult would rather do for the time to be a parent to their children and integrity for maintaining the correct choices in parenting a child.

Not everyone is willing to be a parent, so prayerfully consider whether to add a child into a home. This decision rests only on a couple’s shoulders.  The truth about raising children is that it’s a great responsibility but it is also the most important job we can ever have. It’s not easy but it is well worth the time. 

From The Family: A Proclamation to the World from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: “’Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (from Psalms 127:3) Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”

Parents who teach correct principles and live to serve their fellow man bring a peace and happiness to themselves and others. Yet, many people watch the activity of a family from a fishbowl point of view judging too harshly at how parents raise their children.  Ultimately, decisions on how to handle difficult situations and consequences for children’s decisions are the choice of the parent. Some people might even judge the wisdom of having as many children as a couple can have. Yet again. this is the decision of the couple.

For example: Both my husband and I were introduced to the lifestyle of homeschooling when we had three of our nine children attending public school but we disagreed on whether we should adopt this program into our family. Through a series of inspired dreams, I realized we should homeschool, but my husband disagreed.  He just didn’t think we could give our children the kind of education the public school offered so we continued to send our children to school.  It wasn’t until our school district became divided over a year-round school schedule that he changed his mind. The first year of the new yearly public-school program was a disaster with overcrowded classrooms and holes in our children’s education shown in tests. We both agreed we should pull  our children our out and school them ourselves. 

Some parents we knew were surprised we took such drastic action and criticized what we did but we knew this was right for us. We have never regretted our decision.

The same situation came when we decided that we should have nine children. We accepted them into our home with open arms. I can testify to anyone who has asked me if I have ever regretted raising nine children and the answer would have to be a big no. Yes, there were stressful situations and little money to go around at times. Yes, the older siblings would take care of the younger ones when we felt burned out. Yes, our time is stretched to the limit but as parents we learned to deal with all of our children along with the challenges and joys. All of them learned to be better people and those of them who are parents are better parents. The blessings of bringing children into a home are countless. 

 

1. We all become very unselfish. What we bring away from our earthly experience is character development and knowledge. We learn to have patience and share with those around us who don’t have as much. We learn that human relationships are important enough to share with others.

2. We realize how unimportant material possessions are and find personal relationships more fulfilling. What is really important are people. Spending time with those we love is much better than spending money on things that eventually will not exist. Material possessions are inanimate objects. People have feelings and concerns and can love another person.

3. We learn to manage our time better so we can spend more of it with each other. This is a never-ending process and parents learn quickly that time spent with children is more important than doing other less important activities. The rewards for a good relationship with a child far outweigh the time spent in doing other things.

4. We learn to sacrifice for each other which help us grow closer together. Sacrifice is a difficult virtue to learn.  Humans are naturally selfish and want what is best for themselves but life has no meaning if we think only about ourselves. There is a time for everything and it might seem that we will never get what we want for ourselves but as children grow and learn by the good example of their parents, the blessing of sacrifice is passed down to the next generation.

It was Jeffrey Holland (LDS Church leader) who said: “I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that heavenly promises are always kept.” (Holland, Jeffrey R., “Lessons Learned from Liberty Jail” Ensign, September 2009.

 Life is lived in the best way we know how, with all of its challenges and all of its happiness. We are blessed for sacrificing for another human being. It’s just a matter of whether we realize this in time to make a difference in our own lives.

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Synagogue...

 It's May 1st and my next book is ready to buy!!

About 15 years ago I had this great idea to write a book about Jews and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. More than just my conversion, its a comparison of both cultures.  I started writing and got about 1/3 of the way through and realized it wasn't the right time to write this book.

I went on to other projects and wrote down ideas so when the time did come along, I would be ready.

Then in June of 2025, experiences started falling into place and after the Book of Mormon Conference, I knew it was time.

I booked a trip to Israel with my brother and got writing to finish my book.  The last chapter covers our trip to Israel in February and I was done!

Now I am ready to promote and I have already had great reviews!!

Here is the description:

"A witty and heartfelt exploration of two worlds, Judaism and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Mrs. Steimle explores tradition, woven together through one person’s spiritual journey, blending humor, history, and personal reflection. This narrative follows an unexpected pilgrimage from matzah balls to Moroni, and from synagogue pews to the Sacred Grove, showing how two faiths that seem far apart can echo each other in surprising ways.

Click here to buy my book

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