Here is a great way to remember kindness during Christmas.....
14 Ways to Cultivate Kindness
Frank Lipman (http://www.drfranklipman.com/14-ways-to-cultivate-kindness/)
To cultivate kindness, first you need to have a sense of what it is.
For me, it’s about giving of oneself freely, for the pure joy of giving
without an expectation of reciprocity or strings attached – and
admittedly, that’s not always easy!
For many people, the challenges of the last few years have made
kindness a bit of an afterthought – we seem shorter on kindness now than
we were back in ’07. Though we can’t turn back the clock or control
what will happen next, we can find ways to replenish our kindness
reserves.
To do that, here are a few thoughts on how to get your kindness
groove back – and spread it to others who may need a dose just as much
as you do. Not only will you help make your corner of the world a better
place, but your kindness will also give your body and mind a
health-enhancing boost – a wonderful side-effect, so let’s get started:
1.) Have a better morning drive— let someone cut ahead
Give that aggressive driver a genuine smile, a wave and let it – and
him – go. He gets that small victory he’s clearly so desperate for and
you can enjoy the feeling of not being quite as wound up as he must be!
2.) Connect with others, even if it’s just for a moment
On the commuter train, look up from your Blackberry/iPhone/
iPad/Gameboy and pause for a second to actually look the conductor in
the eye when he takes your ticket. Smile and say “Thanks.” Your simple
act of acknowledgement and appreciation may be the highlight of his day.
3.) Share a laugh
Be it with the guy who sells you your weekly lottery ticket, the
cashier at the grocery store or your elderly neighbor, breaking the
monotony of the day with an unexpected laugh is a simple but powerful
act of kindness, humanity and connection.
4.) Smile like you mean it… and eventually you will
Though sometimes it may seem like a Herculean effort, the simple act
of smiling is an instant mood booster and attitude re-adjuster for you
and those on the receiving end, be they a total stranger or close
friend. In other words, everybody wins, so why not?
5.) Stop and smell the gratitude – the kindness will follow
The kindest people I know are those who are truly and profoundly
grateful for even the smallest blessings in their lives. Some have gone
through enormous difficulties to arrive at that place of gratitude while
others have not, but regardless of how you get there, it’s almost
impossible to be unkind when you are grateful and appreciative.
6.) Be aware of your power
Granted we all have bad days, but be conscious of your effect on
others. Know that a grumpy response barked at a subordinate can ruin
their day in an instant –that’s not very kind, is it? In other words,
don’t take your frustrations out on innocent bystanders – and if you do,
be swift with an earnest apology. An awareness of how your behavior
impacts others can help keep the waters of kindness flowing – in both
directions.
7.) Learn to listen
When a friend or loved one is in a difficult spot, one of the kindest
things you can do is simply listen. Though you may not be able to ease
their pain, you can give them the chance to be heard, which sometimes is
all that’s needed. If they ask for your opinion, by all means give it,
but tread lightly and be diplomatic in your responses. Use “tough love”
sparingly and only when absolutely necessary.
8.) Connect live, in person – not on Facebook
Anyone can post to Facebook but, a true act of kindness is giving of
your time, talents or showing up physically to lend a hand. With all due
respect, simply “liking” an organization or person on Facebook doesn’t
go quite far enough.
9.) Put down the boxing gloves
Plenty of people are kind to others but brutal to themselves,
relentlessly beating themselves up over past mistakes. Learn to show
yourself kindness by forgiving yourself, learning from your mistakes,
righting wrongs when possible and moving forward.
10.) Just do it…and zip it
As in keep your kindnesses to yourself. Kindness isn’t about showing
off or telling the world what a sweetheart you are. Just do it quietly,
without fanfare. Recently I found out (somewhat accidently) that one of
my patients has been quietly delivering meals to homebound people
several times a week for over a decade. Turns out not even his closest
friends know about his volunteer work and that’s just the way he likes
it.
11.) Know your limits
Kindness is not about martyrdom. It doesn’t mean being a doormat or
allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. When it comes to kindness,
it’s just as important to know when to say no, and how to say it with
kindness. For those who have trouble turning people down (as well as
those who don’t), the most useful phrase in the English language is “I
would love to but…” – it’s kind, gentle and firm – and enables you to
put boundaries in place when needed.
12.) Practice unconditional kindness
Judging who is worthy or deserving of your kindness isn’t really
kindness at all. True kindness is a gift that’s given freely across the
board, whether someone appears to “deserve” it or not. Everyone is
“worthy” of kindness and respect, even if you don’t particularly like
them.
13.) Put yourself in their shoes
Empathy and kindness go hand-in-hand, so learn to cut people a little
slack. They may be going through a rough patch, so there’s no need to
pile onto their pain with harsh words or aggressive responses. In the
words of Plato, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard
battle.” Keep this in mind to inspire your acts of kindness every day.
14.) Don’t hold back
Experiment with letting compliments flow. They don’t have to be
over-the-top or effusive – just a simple positive comment will do – but
do get into the habit of earnestly complimenting others. Praise your
assistant for handling a problem well; tell your significant other that
you appreciate their putting the kids to bed; thank the delivery guy for
being so quick, then throw in an extra tip. There are so many small
ways we can surprise people and spread a little joy with an unexpected
kindness or compliment, there’s little reason not to – so don’t hold
back.
And one last thought on kindness – you’ll get better with practice, so remember to flex your kindness muscle every day.
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
A wonderful Tribute to the Baby Jesus
Two: Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
I would say most of the time those
unkind things you hear from others are not true and if they are you shouldn’t
repeat them. Life is too short to waste
time in passing on unwanted news. You
have no idea what the other person has gone through so don’t pass on any gossip.
